we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
