If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Enjoy the penises
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
