You can't special order awesome
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
