oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
