I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
