In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize