the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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