Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
