careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
vagina is talking i cant
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
