Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
