when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
