so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
