Pants 0. Shit 1.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
