I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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