Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
