he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize