You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize