ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
