Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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