i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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