I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
two words...techno handjob
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
