We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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