I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
