I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
