the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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