I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dear god my vagina.
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