I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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