Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
