They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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