I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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