I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
