Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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