My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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