SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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