Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
