I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
