five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would ride that face into the sunset
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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