google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
