It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All the doctor said was why
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
