they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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