I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
