We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize