I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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