that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
