bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
