They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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