There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
