are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
