I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
