me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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