I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I forget how to act sober
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
