Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
