wakey wakey hands off snakey
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just want nice things and good sex
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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