i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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