I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
