Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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