Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
