Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
