White coat. Heels.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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