Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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